AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Idiot and fool jokes and funny stories.

Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to cash his check. Since he didn't have an account there, the teller asked if he could identify himself.

"Sure," said Izzard. "There a mirror around here?"

"There's one on the wall right beside you," said the clerk.

Izzard took a glance in the mirror and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Yep!" he said. "It's me, all right!"

The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" " 'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"

Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in.

"Ah think somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said breathlessly.

Kennan ran outside, but came back right away.

"Well, did yew stop him?" asked Stakely.

"Naw!" said the redneck. "He was too fast. But Ah got his license plate before he got away!"

During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.

"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.

"What fer?" asked Pyle.

"Shorter hours."

"Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.